October 16, 2002 by Allen George
A lot of stuff happened. But why kid myself – you don’t want to hear about it. Serious considerations must be given to the usefulness of this endeavour. I mean – why bother – I’m screwing up anyway right? Might as well stop the stupidity now. What am I really? How do I define myself? What do I think about? What do others think of me? Sadly enough – I don’t think I have the knowledge to answer those questions. Which explains the results on the EIQ. Why kid myself – I never had much of it in the first place. Talked to Justin about a whole bunch o stuff again. Walked off feeling like an ass. Pissed away the rest of my day. Great. Now I feel worse. If that’s even possible. Someone should just shoot me. It would be better for all parties involved. I can’t take myself anymore. Freaking hell. What do you think it is like to wake up saying “Oh great – another day as me”? Imagine living your life as a failure. Imagine that. Every day – you know that you’re a failure.
Interesting line by the last replicant in Blade Runner – Roy Batty – “Time to die”. So calm. Very focused. Talking about himself of course.