October 19, 2002 by Allen George
Focus on Fear
Will attack bugzilla at the end of the coming week. Also have to send off reams of emails, prepare and do a whole bunch of stuff. Time to lose the stupidity and move forward. Yes, I think this time has been long in coming. I hit it once but this has been the most protracted. Its Waterloo. I’m lesser.
What is fear? What does it cause? Does it make people want to focus on other things? Anything but the problem at hand? Does it lead them into soul and personality destroying bouts of questioning and self doubt? Does it perhaps cause them to be more extroverted than usual – hoping that the false hilarity will mask their inner hopelessness? Does it cause them to think about “I will do…” as opposed to “I am doing…”? Perhaps it is all these. Now imagine if these manifested in one person? What do you think of the emotional and mental state of this person? Perhaps this was never experienced before? How does this person shake these feelings off? How does this person understand and realize that the only way to improve is to make mistakes? Why is this person afraid of rejection and making mistakes? Perhaps it is because he’s always been the odd one out and hopes that by doing everything correctly he won’t stand out as an idiot? Who knows. Perhaps this person has tried in the past but has always pushed back? Why? Especially if they know they CAN do it. They know they have the ability – it just takes time…