February 4, 2004 by Allen George
I feel like everything is spinning out of control. I sit here, staring at the RTX and putting together piece after piece and I seem lacking. My depression’s back and in full force this time, which is no good at all.
I’ve even got dance music on (the much maligned dance) and even then I don’t feel any better. The worst thing about depression is the energy it saps out of you. You feel almost…wasted… You question yourself, your place – anything and everything. You ask yourself what its worth.
It takes a lot of energy to keep going. A lot. The key (I’ve found) is to avoid slipping into a morass of self pity/guilt/pain/hurt or any dampening emotion. (I would not classify anger as dampening). You’ve got to keep working and push yourself to get past it all.
I wonder how people who have true clinical depression. I cannot imagine the world they live in. It’s almost frightening in its bleakness.