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Introspection is an odd state of mind. I’m most introspective when I”m emotionally stressed. When I’m in that…frame of mind…I’m darker. I’m tempted to say colder but even as I type that word, I question it. Thinking back to my behavior in 3B, I suspect that I gave monologues when I started thinking too deeply. It’s a reflection of how I think itself – my day is one long, personal conversation. Held in the recesses of my mind I scream, berate, chafe and dictate. Look at myself as two distinct halves, one admonishing, the other…

What about the other?

He’s me. Let me be more specific. He’s who I am now. The person who carries out the actions freewheelingly dealt out upstairs.

Silence. It’s what I crave most when I’m introspective. I want to achieve freedom from the environment around me. Free to forget about the shackles of my current priorities. Which explains why I have far fewer opportunities this term, with work bearing down on me from all angles.

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