I’ve avoided introspective posts over the past few weeks (months?) for various reasons. It isn’t because I’ve stopped looking or testing myself. I still question myself. My life isn’t peachy. And I haven’t come to any epiphanies.
Life this term has been different.
I have only vague memories of terms before 2B and I’m often caught flat-footed when I’m asked to put a date to events. My time in Waterloo has merged into a series of work and study-terms. On. Off. On. Off. Never quite at-ease. Never quite…done. It’s odd to look back and realize that you’ve lost part of your university life.
My personality has changed significantly. Will you recognize me if you knew me a year before?
Physically? The same.
Mentally? Who knows.
Personality? Elements remain, but, like so many times before, time and events have left their mark.
I’ve become older, more reserved. In some ways…a loner. It isn’t because I dislike people. But I can’t summon the energy to deal with it. Emotional and phsyical malaise…
I’m just so tired all the time. So tired.
If you are constantly tired, maybe you should look into talking to somebody at health services. There are many possible reasons, and there are treatments for a number of them (my first thought is low iron, which can be combated with an iron rich diet or iron pills, check with a doctor before starting either in case they want to check your normal iron levels). On a possibly even more serious note, if you are worried about drastic changes in your personality and not being able to deal anymore, the counselling services at UW might be able to help. In any case, it is easier and cheaper to get these things checked out before you are done school as they are available right on campus. Good luck.