“All over the place.”
Kurt and I met up on Tuesday. I rambled. Probably still feeling the after-effects of midterm returns, project deadlines and sweltering summer days. “I can’t relax anymore” I said as we ate our pitas in the Connestoga Mall food court. “I feel as if I always have something better, more worthwhile to do, some project I have to complete.” It’s not a pleasant feeling. And I get a lot of blank stares if I ever mention this to anyone; almost as if it’s unheard of.
Suggestions range from the obvious to the inane. “You’ve got to learn to relax” to “We’ll teach you to veg out”. Teach me? The sheer. . .chutzpah. . .of that statement annoys me. Condescending in tone and nature. Allen George is broken and needs to be fixed. As if vegging out is an ideal towards which as I should aspire – the. . .
It’s obvious I’m upset. Upset enough that my fingers hover above the keys, ready to unleash a stream of scathing commentary; rail against this. . .something.
What’s less obvious is why I’m upset.
Maybe it’s because on this gorgeous summer day I’ve read a book, checked out the Sigma 18-50 f/2.8 ($750 CDN), lusted after the Nikkor 17-55 f/2.8 ($1769 CDN) and written this entry. Because I haven’t worked on STV 202 or ECE 454.
And of course I feel really low for doing that.