I love food – but hate eating. I hate the phsyicality of it; the mastication; the chew-chew to turn solid to bolus, the feel of crumbs as they invade the interstitials of your teeth.
It disgusts me. The uncleanliness, the…naturalness of it.
I want the act to pass – quickly – so I can exorcise its leavings from my mouth. For until it passes I am this other thing: this merging of me, and food, a state I did not wish for, simply suffer. This state – it disgusts me, and so in eating I –
I disgust me.