Creative Urge

I’m…troubled.

I need … to create. I need to mould a physical manifestation of all the ideas that circulate in my consciousness. Have you ever had a framework in your mind? Something you can see so clearly, that its beauty captures you imagination. You float on air as your mind builds ‘castles in the sky’. You can see the different components fitting together, interacting in a defined, consistent matter. And right then you _know_ that you’ve created something beautiful. And you’ll try. You’ll put your mind to it and work at it until this – idea, this unkown, becomes a reality. And then when you stand back and look, you feel the pride. You see something that although outwardly simple is the realization of an elegant design. And in that moment you feel, not complete – but – better. You feel as if the problems of the world had shifted away and all that’s left is you, your design and its implementaion. Because nothing else matters. Without you – it wouldn’t be. And in that, you take comfort. Wouldn’t you want to feel like that? It has to be the most complete feeling I’ve known – when I can take a design, and despite all odds and obstacles, put it into practice… I think most of my time, I want to be there again.

The current idea I have is related to work. I’ve spent the past few days thinking about how to make it possible. I think it _can_ be done, although I have no idea how long it will take. I just hit a bump today in that Roundup cannot use the LDAP users list directly since users can _never_ be deleted from Roundup. But I think I will have to find a way around that. Richard Jones suggested a way, but I don’t know how hard that will be to put into practice.

If I subscribed to a car magazine, I would pick Car And Driver. I find it well written, with a great webpage (XML – wouldn’t you know!) and good reviews. Not only that, it _feels_ accessible to be. What does ‘accessible’ mean? Well – I’m not a hardcore car guy, but I like cars and this magazine seems to hit that right balance for me. At any rate, ended up looking at the concept Ford Mustang. Hehe – I saw the Ford Mustang at the Auto Show, but sadly only the convertible. i think the coupe looks _much_ better. Sweet car. I like the look much better than that of the older Mustang…

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