Capricious

For the past week my mood can be likened to Waterloo’s weather: capricious and hard to predict. After the depths I plumbed yesterday, the heights I’ve reached today can only be described as…dizzying.

This roller coaster ride has been discomfiting, to say the very least. I was feeling pretty badly yesterday. Today morning I woke up and everything was somehow better. I realized that I didn’t have to react to situations the way I’ve been doing lately. I kept thinking “So what? Nothing matters”. I don’t have to sit, stuck in neutral. I don’t know what it was. Maybe this pep talk, maybe the fact that I had to psych myself up for the interview, maybe the thought of going home for the long weekend – I don’t know – but by noon I was cruising on an emotional high. And what a high. I felt free.

I can’t even remember the last time I felt like that.

Halfway into lunch I turned on my Yamaha computer speakers, cranked up the bass boost and started off with Daft Punk – Rollin’ and Scratchin’. 40 minutes later I was cranking through Eurodance song after Eurodance song. The louder, the more the bass, the stronger the beat, the faster, the better. I wanted the music to surround me, to drown me in. I wanted the beat to envelop me. Completely. If I had louder speakers, I think I would have blown my ears, the windows and the neighbors’ doors out.

Now, as I sit here, I have the same atmosphere going. I mean:

Neo Cortex – Elements
Swish – Better Believe
Flip & Fill – Shooting Star
Vengaboys – Vengababes From Outer Space
Rollergirl – Close To You
Maroma – La Luna
Sash! – Together Again
Sylver – Forever In Love

At some level I know the crash is going to be nothing short of impressive. I suppose I’ve acknowledged that right now – and just that acknowledgement acts as a damper on my spirits.

Bah! I’m not going to let this end today!
[cranks the music louder]

[‘spins up’ Darude – Sandstorm]

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