July 11, 2004 by Allen George
What did you say? WHAT THE F*** DID YOU SAY?
I can be broken in half easily.
I ate 4000 calories today
I had a Guinness, an orgasm and a blowjob.
I ate 5 hot dogs today.
I roasted my first marshmallow.
I learnt how to make smores.
I ate 3 smores today.
I realized I’m not a big fan of marshmallows.
I realized I love honey graham crackers.
I like fires – especially bonfires.
I almost had a Bud.
I passed up an opportunity to buy a girl (or two!) a drink.
Oh yeah, I also had a long island iced tea.
I went to Carlsbad company stores.
I realized that no one has my fucking pant size in Carlsbad company stores.
Americans have fucked up euchre rules. Who the hell heard of ordering your partner up and not having to go alone? And when was “Stick the dealer” optional?